A friend said to me today that, if ever you find that you are distancing yourself from God, it’s probably because something is hurting… she couldn’t be more right. It is our human nature to turn away from God when we are in pain. We choose to turn away and face things on our own. Either because we are angry with God, or because we feel ashamed.
Instead of seeking God in the midst of our hurt, we choose to deny him. We slowly grow farther away from God and begin to wallow in our pain. We become so consumed in the hurt, and begin to feel the heaviness in our hearts. We may not realize it at first but it takes a hold of us. We let the hurt lay heavy in our hearts instead of giving it to the only one who can mend it. We become so consumed in our anger, bitterness and our shame that we completely disregard God.
Why do we distance ourselves from the only one who can heal us from our brokenness?
Are we filled with so much pride that we cannot be bothered to bring our problems to God?
I think the question we need to be asking is “Are we angry with God or are we angry with ourselves?”
When you think about it, and really look deep within your heart, are you angry with God or angry with yourself for failing God? I think we often mistake our own wrong doings for God’s failures or for God’s “so called” absence in our lives. We blame God for not being there, or for not helping us make the right choice, or for not being there when we need him the most. When reality is, we made these decisions ourselves. It was out of our own will. And now that we are facing our consequences and are suffering for it, we then look for someone to blame. And that someone to blame just easily happens to be God…It is so much easier for us to put the blame on someone else, rather than admitting failure.
My point is, whenever we find ourselves far away from God, we need to take time and reflect on why that might be. We need to look deep in our hearts and see what is truly hurting us. We need to cast our burdens unto Him and he will give us rest. God is the only one who can truly heal our hearts.
Whatever it is that is hurting, whatever it is that is distancing you from God, whatever it is you need forgiving of, remember to bring it ALL to God. His grace is sufficient for you. Ask God for forgiveness, but learn to also forgive yourself in the process.